My name is Lauren and I use she/her and they/them pronouns. I live on the occupied territories of the Atakapa, Caddo, Choctaw, Houma, Chitimacha, Natchez and Tunica peoples between the Mississippi River and Lake Pontchartrain. This land is called Bulbancha, place of many tongues. I am Queer. I am of Jewish, Eastern-Europe, Lithuanian, English and Irish ancestry, raised in Washington, D.C. I am the descendant of milliners and horse traders, Rabbis, engineers, social workers, law makers, and organizers. I am a mother, an auntie, a sister, a gardener, a former sex worker, a burgeoning beekeeper, a dancer, singer, cook, and devoted ritual-maker.
I had tried out every healing modality in the book: traditional therapy, CBT, Reiki, EMDR, Yoga, breath work, reflexology, acupuncture, meditation, physical theater, and dance and ultimately found myself on my knees in prayer, surrendering to a new way of being. I began to listen to my body, and gave her tears and rage, gave her joy and bliss permission to exist, be seen, and loved. Those practices began the work of undoing years of numbing and enduring. They still continue to inform my practice, and, for that, I am so grateful.
As part of my healing journey, I conceived and performed a one-woman show: Sexual Healing: A Work in Process, about surviving my experience with incest. This work led to deep connections with other survivors who wanted to share their stories. We came together with the New Orleans Family Justice Center to create events that centered the creative storytelling of survivors. Through dance, music, theater, and visual art, survivors shared their stories, inspiring others with their bravery and breaking the silence that so often accompanies survivorship.
I had finally begun to feel safe and good enough in my body. But pleasure? I honestly hadn’t considered it. All of my embodiment practices helped, I know that for sure. Yet, I had a deep knowing there was a lot more to experience than what I felt. I knew there was more to sex than forcing my body to orgasm, disassociating, flashbacks, and uninvited fantasies. I also knew I needed help to fully surrender, to trust my body and my partners’ bodies.
I also began to connect deeper to the way oppression expresses itself in the body as a result of domination and control patterns inflicted on us by Capitalism, Racism, Sexism, Homophobia, Ableism, and Colonialism. These systems of oppression are deep within our psyches, ancestry, and cellular make-up. Thus our bodies become the perfect place to start healing, the first place of transformation.
I hope to share this possibility with you.
In a world full of so much pain and suffering, it is my deepest hope that each of us is able to feel safe enough, free and pleasurable in our bodies and hearts.